NCLEX

This will likely being a long, boring, pictureless post, but since this is basically my journal, you'll deal with it or not read it ;) I don't want to forget how I felt and what it took to get here. Plus it was kind of humorous, looking back.

Ah, the NCLEX. Quite possibly the scariest time in my life. Quite the contrast after the peace and relaxation of Mexico. The day after we got back was President's Day, so none of the state offices were open. Chris was awesome and picked up my transcripts from school while I was gone. I worked on my application and registered for the test website, Pearson Vue, on Monday. I trooped downtown to the State Board of Nursing on Tuesday.

You know how you build something up in your mind, and you picture how it's going to be, and you prepare yourself mentally for it, thinking it will be a really big deal? Yeah, this was so not how I pictured it. Chris offered to take my application and everything down there while I was gone, so everything would be taken care of when I got back. The application says photo ID is required when you turn your application in. Since I was going to be in Mexico, and all the vouchers we had said the same thing, I didn't want to leave my driver's license here with Chris, and have to rely on carrying my passport around Mexico. So I declined his kind offer. The lady I gave my application to didn't even care. Didn't ask for my ID or anything. Just took the application and made sure my $88 check was good. Then said it would take two to two and a half weeks to get my ATT (Authorization to Test) number. That was it. It took all of about 30 seconds. The elevator ride up there took longer! I was kind of kicking myself for not letting my cute husband drop my application off after that. Then all the waiting would have been done while I was in Mexico, and I probably wouldn't even have known. I definitely wouldn't have been as anxious.

Two days later, my ATT arrived via email. Thank goodness I didn't have to wait two weeks! Luckily, my good friend and fellow classmate, Kelley, had already gone through this whole process, so she had invaluable information on the whole process for us. After you get your ATT number, you go online and schedule your test. Talk about anxiety! My choices were February 8th in Greenwood Village (quite the drive for me) or February 17th in Westminster (a whole lot closer). I decided I couldn't wait a month, and went with the drive. Clicking that button to schedule is possibly the scariest moment of your life. My friend Kelley made her husband do it for her. My  husband was sleeping at that time, or I probably would have done the same thing. Then I proceeded to study. I only had about 3 weeks to get everything down.

I discovered my attention span is dreadful. All of about 2 hours, if I was lucky. It made studying really hard. I had my first honest-to-goodness panic attack on my way to work the next Monday. I had joked about having panic attacks before, but will never joke about it again. Awful. Even worse when you're in a car, driving. The more I studied, the worse it got. My record was 3 panic attacks in 20 minutes. Good times. My nursing friends kept telling me to stop studying. That was a very interesting time in my life. Feeling like I should study, but being really distracted and not able to, and then freaking out about it. Dilemma.

The day arrived. By some lucky stroke, Steph and I had scheduled our tests on the same day at the same place. Unfortunately, it was the night/day where it snowed 8-10 inches. Did I mention that Greenwood Village is a 45-60 minute drive for me? Yeah... I drove 40 mph or less on the freeway the whole way down there. I was terrified something would happen.

Right as I was turning onto the road where the testing center was, I got a call from Steph. A freaking out Steph.  Castle Rock (where she lives) always seems to get even worse weather then the rest of the Denver metro area. NCLEX day was no different. It was a good thing she was planning on leaving really early, because she walked out of her condo to a snowed-in parking lot and a buried car. The guys clearing the lot had to dig her out. Then she discovered she had a flat tire. On brand new tires she had just bought a week ago. Sad face. So the guys helped her change her tire. Then she had to drive to the testing center, on the interstate, in 8-10 inches of snow, on a donut. I told her to calm down, slow down, and drive safe!

Oddly enough, I was really in a zen place. I listened to music that would pump me up on the way down there. I put heat packs in my boots so that cold toes wouldn't distract my on my way down there or in the testing center. I made sure I had snacks of any variety I could possibly want if I needed something - fruity, sweet, salty, crunchy, chocolate, protein. I drank my favorite white hot chocolate on the way down. Steph was completely frazzled by the time she got there. I made her come sit in my car in the nice heated seats while we listened to some nice, calming music. We chatted, took some deep breaths, and went in.

The testing center is nuts. Seriously. They have 2 pages of front and back rules you have to read and agree to before they even start the rest of everything. They scan your ATT letter and your driver's license into their system. Then they take your fingerprints, scan both of your palm veins, and take your picture. You have to lock up all your stuff in a locker. Then, before you go into the room with the computers to take your test, they check your pockets and make sure you don't have anything on your wrists - no watches, no jewelry. They even checked the hood of my sweatshirt! In all of the three feet between the front desk and the testing room, it's possible that I may have changed identities, so they check your picture, and scan your finger and your palm veins to make sure you're the same person. They go through all the rules again, then walk you into the testing room and plug your headphones into the computer for the introduction. They have video and audio recordings the whole time you're testing, btw. If the testing people think ANYTHING is remotely suspicious, they can pull you at at any time, and your test results don't count. Not to mention the fact that if I don't pass, I don't get a license, and therefore I don't get a job.

I felt amazing when I walked in. I wanted the lady to just shut up so I could get in there and do the test. Get through the introduction, and all is well. I get the first question, and I have no idea what the answer is. But that's okay, because I knew going in that I would likely get some I really didn't know. I picked the best answer I could. The 2nd question that pops up, I didn't know the answer to either. By the time the 5th question rolled around, I didn't know any of the answers and I was panicking. All said and done, I maybe was SURE that I knew the right answer to possibly three questions. Yeah. I thought I had been in there for a good long time and had probably done 25 questions. I looked up, and was at question 8. Seriously. By the time I got to 30, I thought I'd been in there for 2 hours. By the time I hit 40, I didn't know how many more I could do. At 50, I thought I might die. I wanted a break, but just tried to power through. At 70, I was about ready to pee my pants. From nerves though, not because I actually had to go. I knew I was doing terrible. I finally, finally hit question 75. I was totally expecting 265 questions (the maximum). I submitted my answer. The computer started thinking, and then IT SHUT OFF. IT SHUT OFF! I WAS DONE... And had likely failed.

I went back out to my car to wait for Steph. I was so distressed I couldn't even find the bathroom that was right outside the testing center. I felt like I was going to throw up. I called Chris, and told him it was awful and that I probably failed. He said, "You're already done?!" So I look at the clock. It had been less than 2 hours since I walked into that testing center. Less than 2 hours? I was sure it had been at least 4. Or 5.

I sat out there like a jitter bug waiting for Steph. We had already decided we were going to stay down in that area and grab a bite to eat so we could avoid rush hour traffic. It only took Steph 15 minutes or so longer than it took me to finish. Hers shut off at 75 questions too. Now we both knew we had failed!

We headed down the road to Ted's Montana Grill. After a test of that nature, we were ready to eat ourselves into oblivion. Death by french fry ;) We ordered our food, and settled down to wait. Now, there's a back door way to see if you've passed the NCLEX. It's not official, and who knows if it actually works or not, but hey. Better than nothing. You log into the testing website and try to register to take another test. If it lets you go through to the payment page, you failed. If you get a pop-up saying you already have a test scheduled, you passed. I have a smartphone, and I was dying to know. I couldn't take it anymore. So I logged in on my phone. Pop-up! Woohoo! It was a big relief.

Steph said she didn't want to know. She changed her mind a couple minutes later ;) She typed in her information, but wouldn't push the last button. So I did. Pop-up! We maybe both had passed!

Our food finally came, and we actually felt like eating by that point. Ted's is famous for their bison burgers, and let me tell you, bison is delicious! I'd never had it before, but it was amazing. And huge. Their fries are good too. So are their homemade half pickles. And their apple crisp, which we decided we needed after our stressful day :D I took half my burger and fries home to eat later. Then headed home to await my quick results, which take two days.

That was the longest 2 days of my life. I kept checking repeatedly starting at 36 hours out. Finally, the quick results were posted. 10 minutes early even! And guess what? I PASSED!!! Yay :)

So then I started stalking the DORA website for my license number, hoping I would get a better response from potential employers if I had it to put on applications and my resume. It finally popped up that next Monday, only 6 days after the test. Then I got my actual license in the mail that Friday! It was so awesome.

And there you have it, the final chapter of how I became a Registered Nurse.